Email Update #2

Hi all,

Sorry, I know I told a lot of you that I would get back to you on Wednesday. I thought I'd have concrete info on Wednesday, but it took until today for them to schedule my surgery. Surgery is May 29, and we're looking at a bilateral mastectomy with simultanious reconstruction. I won't know about chemo or radiation or what stage it is or whether it has spread or... any of the really juicy stuff until after the surgery. All I know right now is that the girls have to go.

My plastic surgeon is a total dream; I couldn't have asked for a better match for my personality. Can you imagine how much it would suck to have a plastic surgeon like Dr. Spock or Doc on the Love Boat or Dr. Phil? I was seriously expecting to have to shop around for a surgeon who wasn't creepy or old or leery. Blech. But Dr. Thornton is cute (really cute) and very funny; it's almost easy to forget that he's rich and successful because women (and some men) are insecure about their bodies. (turns out insurance companies pay drs, like, practically nothing to reconstruct breasts, but a cosmetic boob job costs $8K at least... so much injustice!)

But the meeting itself, the idea of the process? Whoa. It's gross and complicated and I won't look like I want to look for more than a year. Probably more like 18 months. Wow. And it's TWO surgeries to rebuild the girls-- one to put in the expanders and one a few months later to put in the actual inplants.

I hate blood. I hate hospitals. I hate knives and needles. I am seriously, seriously squeamish. And the one and only time I've ever been under anethesia, I nearly had a heart attack anticipating it. They had to sedate me before anethestizing me. When the dude told me to "count backwards from ten," I said, "NO!" I know this sounds very weird but the thing I'm scared most of right now-- having to be under anesthesia TWICE!! Weird huh? I'm horrified by the idea.

Anyway, I'll send a better update later. It's Friday. Time to play.

Okay, Mastectomy Fun Poll of the Day: If YOU had only two weeks left with your boobs, what would you do with them? :)

(Uh, Bernard... you can improvise!)

Thanks again for all your love and support!!

xo
MRC